he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
