trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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