You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
