dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
