Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
