She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
