I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
