please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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