Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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