Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm always down for nudity.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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