he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
