the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
