if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Two words: blizzard sex
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
