He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
