thus making me awesome and them whores
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
