Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
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