i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Im part way to drunk.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
