please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
