Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
