upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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