Please don't use social media to get back at me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
