So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
