New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
