I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
