and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
