Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
