Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
