he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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