he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just want nice things and good sex
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
