Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
