she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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