bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
