In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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