So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
