Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize