I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
