You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
