Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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