Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
