just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
