Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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