Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
