we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
