the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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