i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize