It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
