Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
