yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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