is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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