my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize