maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Randomize
