The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize