YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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