MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
