I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
