Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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