He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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