you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
