I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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