I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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