Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
