Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
