By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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