I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
