You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
