he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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