So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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