the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
