Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
