His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
