***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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