you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
