Your face is a jimmy john
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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