It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
