Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
