It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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