Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize